Dr. Juliane Dmyterko Neurodivergent Flourishing

Autistic women, girls, and high-masking people

Understanding autism beyond the stereotypes.

For many years, autism was primarily studied in boys. As a result, many autistic girls and women were overlooked, misunderstood, or received other diagnoses before autism was ever considered. Additionally, males that do not present "stereotypically" and non-binary and transgender people are often also missed.

Many were described as shy, anxious, sensitive, gifted, perfectionistic, or simply "too much." Others appeared to cope well on the surface while privately feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or different from those around them.

Today, we know that autism can present in many different ways. While no two autistic people are the same, girls and women are often more likely to camouflage their differences, develop coping strategies that mask their support needs, and internalize their struggles. This can delay recognition until adolescence or adulthood.

Whether you are wondering about yourself, your daughter, or someone you care about, this page provides an overview of how autism may present in girls and women. Autism is highly individualized, and not every autistic person will relate to every experience described below.

Why autism is often missed

Girls are often socialized differently than boys from a young age. They may be encouraged to be polite, observant, emotionally aware, and accommodating of others. Many autistic girls work incredibly hard to meet these expectations, even when doing so is mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Some autistic girls may appear quiet and compliant, while others may be highly talkative or outgoing. Some enjoy spending time with peers but find maintaining friendships confusing or exhausting. Others prefer solitary activities or only one or two close relationships.

Because they may not match traditional stereotypes of autism, their differences are sometimes attributed to anxiety, perfectionism, personality, or shyness instead.

Common experiences

Many autistic women describe feeling different from others throughout childhood, even if they could not explain why.

They may have felt like they were observing social interactions rather than naturally participating in them. Some describe feeling as though everyone else received a rulebook for social situations that they somehow missed.

Others report always feeling slightly "out of sync" with peers despite wanting connection and belonging.

Social communication differences

Autistic girls and women often enjoy friendships and relationships, but social interactions may require significant effort. Some common experiences include:

Not every autistic person experiences all of these differences, and many develop sophisticated strategies to navigate social situations.

Masking (camouflaging)

One reason autism is often overlooked in girls and women is masking. Masking refers to consciously or unconsciously hiding autistic traits in order to fit into social expectations. Examples may include:

Masking can help someone navigate certain environments, but it often comes at a significant cost. Many autistic women describe feeling exhausted after social interactions, uncertain of who they are beneath the mask, or experiencing burnout after years of trying to meet expectations.

Sensory processing differences

Autistic people often experience the world differently through their senses. Sensory experiences vary greatly between individuals but may include differences related to:

Sensory experiences can fluctuate depending on stress, fatigue, illness, or the environment.

Intense interests and passions

Autistic people often develop deep interests that bring enjoyment, comfort, and expertise. These interests are sometimes called "special interests," although many autistic people simply refer to them as passions or interests.

For girls and women, these interests may include topics that appear common, such as animals, books, psychology, art, music, fashion, makeup, plants, history, television series, and creative hobbies. What often differs is the depth, intensity, knowledge, and enjoyment associated with these interests.

Routines and predictability

Many autistic girls and women feel more comfortable when life is predictable. Changes in routine may increase stress, particularly when unexpected or outside their control. Examples may include:

Mental health

Many autistic girls and women experience anxiety, depression, or burnout, particularly when they have spent years masking their differences or navigating environments that do not meet their needs.

These mental health concerns are not caused by autism itself. Rather, they often develop in response to chronic stress, misunderstanding, sensory overload, social demands, or a lack of appropriate support and accommodations.

Strengths

Autism is associated with many strengths, although these vary from person to person. Many autistic girls and women describe strengths such as:

Autism is not simply a list of challenges. It represents a different way of experiencing, processing, and interacting with the world.

Could this be autism?

No single characteristic determines whether someone is autistic. Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference identified by patterns across social communication and interaction, repetitive behaviours or routines, sensory experiences, and developmental history.

Many of the experiences described above can also occur in other conditions, including ADHD, anxiety, trauma, or OCD.

If these experiences resonate with you or your child and have been present across different stages of life, it may be helpful to seek an evaluation from a clinician with experience assessing autism in girls and women.

You're not alone

For many girls and women, learning about autism can be both validating and emotional. Some feel relief in finally having an explanation for lifelong experiences, while others experience grief, anger, or uncertainty. There is no "right" way to respond.

Whether you are just beginning to explore autism or have recently received a diagnosis, remember that autism does not change who you are. It offers a framework for understanding your experiences, recognizing your strengths, and identifying the supports and accommodations that may help you thrive.

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For children and youth